Friended to Death Movie Review

The Bottom Line : You'll be hard-pressed to "Like" this unfunny comedy.

Director : Sarah Smick

Opens May 2 (Gravitas Ventures)

Production: Green Step Productions

Director: Sarah Smick

Screenwriters: Sarah Smick, Ian Michaels

Producers: Ian Michaels, Sarah Smick, Peter Smick

Director of photography: Jimmy Jung Lu

Editor: Randy Carter

Production designer: Susannah Lowber

Costume designer: Joanna Konjevod

Composer: Nathan Whitehead

Rated R, 94 min

Screenwriters :
Ian Michaels
Sarah Smick

Cast :
Ryan Hansen
James Immekus
Zach McGowan
Sarah Smick
Ian Michaels

A Facebook-obsessed dweeb posts a fake notice of his own death in Sarah Smick's satirical comedy.

The oppressive influence of social media is a subject that’s rife for satire. But it requires much sharper target shooting than provided in Sarah Smick’s comedy about a Facebook-obsessed dweeb who fakes his own death to find out which of the 417 virtual friends he constantly boasts really care about him. Tediously unfunny, Friended to Death is unlikely to distract viewers from checking out their smartphones as it unspools.

The story concerns Michael (Ryan Hansen, Veronica Mars), a Los Angeles male meter maid who cruelly relishes his job—“I’m like the Batman of parking enforcement,” he tells his boss—even while constantly updating his status and posting selfies. But when he makes the mistake of posting an online photo of one of his vehicular snares, he’s unceremoniously fired.

He’s even more distressed to discover that Joel (Zach McGowan), who he considers his best friend, recently held a party without inviting him. So he enlists his hapless former colleague Emile (James Immekus) in a scheme in which he posts a fake notice of his own demise which quickly receives 22 “Likes.”
Chaotic if not comedic complications ensue, with Joel’s snarky roommate (co-scripter Ian Michaels) immediately becoming suspicious and going out of his way to prove that Michael is indeed still alive. Meanwhile, Michael finds himself stalked by a mysterious blonde (director Smick) who, it’s eventually revealed, bears a longtime grudge.

Although not without its amusing moments, such as Michael’s acronym-studded habit of speaking “in text,” the film quickly degenerates into a tired mixture of wacky slapstick, heavy-handed melodrama and message-laden moralizing. It’s no surprise that the latter involves Michael’s dawning realization that real-life friendship is vastly preferable to the Internet kind.

Hansen is unable to make his character’s clueless obnoxiousness funny or endearing, with the result that we’re all too eager to see his comeuppance, while the supporting performers flounder in their one-dimensional roles. Making her feature film debut, director Smick works in such broad strokes that the story, apparently based on a real-life incident, never once feels remotely truthful.

Unclaimed Movie Review

The Bottom Line : Modest doc presents a sensational news story that, however emotional, may be complete fabrication.

Opens : Friday, May 2 (Myth Merchant Films)

Production: Myth Merchant Films

Director-Screenwriter-Producer: Michael Jorgensen

Director of photography: Allan Leader

Editors: Jonathan Mathew, Nick Zacharkiw

Music: Mike Shields

Rated, 77 minutes

A Vietnam vet tries to prove that one of the war's presumed casualties is still alive.

NEW YORK — According to Michael Jorgensen's Unchained, an Army special-ops soldier who was shot down over Laos in 1968 has been living ever since in Vietnam under an assumed identity. Having suffered years of torture, he forgot everything about his old life but his name; he can't even speak English. Another veteran, a troubled soul named Tom Faunce, has spent years tracking him down and trying to verify his identity.

The story would be a doozy if true. But while numerous strong doubts have been raised in the year since the picture's Hot Docs debut, the film ignores some and brushes others off in quick closing titles alluding to a larger issue — a Department of Defense report finding massive dysfunction in the task force tracking POW and MIA cases — that is otherwise undiscussed here. Commercial hopes are slim for a doc that, while engaging as it unspools, seemingly has little interest in uncovering the truth.

The man in question calls himself John Hartley Robertson, and much about his discovery by Faunce remains vague here, even if Faunce's motivations do not: Having led a difficult life before and during the Vietnam War, he experienced a powerful religious conversion after it and spends much of his time on charity/missionary projects. During one such trip in Southeast Asia, he heard rumors about Robertson and was appalled at the thought that the U.S. might have abandoned him on the battlefield. Haunted by the rejection he himself felt after the war, Faunce sets out to find the man.

The detective story is involving, albeit choppily told, and from the start the film paints the Department of Defense as a shadowy influence getting in Faunce's way instead of helping. Viewers will wonder why Jorgensen doesn't speak with anyone there, or even to journalists who might bolster this impression of official obstruction. Much of the storytelling is done in succinct title cards, some of which seem almost deliberately vague in their he-said/she-said accusations.

While many involved have a deep emotional reason to believe this man's story, Jorgensen should not. He fails to suggest that "John" get his DNA tested against that of surviving family members or to ask Faunce why he doesn't pursue this, preferring to rely on a more obscure testing method whose findings suggest "John" is indeed an American. A bit of Googling finds that family members were eventually tested, and the results were not a match.

The Protector 2 (Tom Yum Goong 2) Movie Review

The Bottom Line : Another deep disappointment for fans of the raw, exciting "Ong Bak."

Opens : Friday, May 2 (Magnet)

Cast : Tony Jaa, RZA, Petchtai Wongkamlao, JeeJa Yanin, Marrese Crump, Rhatha Phongam

Director : Prachya Pinkaew

Production: Sahamongkolfilm Co.

Screenwriter: Eakasit Thairaat

Producers: Prachya Pinkaew, Panna Rittikrai, Sukanya Vongsthapat

Executive producers: Somsak Techaratanaprasert

Director of photography: Teerawat Rujenathum

Production designer: Sutham Viravandaj

Costume designer: Ekasit Meepraseartsagool

Editors: Manussas Worasingh, Ratchapun Pisutsintop, Chalerm Wongpim, Wichit Wattananon, Richara Phanomrat

Music: Sutham Viravandaj

Rated R, 104 minutes

Thai action hero Tony Jaa attempts a comeback after early retirement.

Just over a decade ago, Prachya Pinkaew's Ong-Bak seemed to herald the birth of a new martial-arts star. Though Tony Jaa didn't yet display much personality as an actor, his astounding physical prowess, shown off in no-trickery fight scenes, suggested an action athlete capable of filling Jackie Chan's shoes. The director

and star wasted no time disappointing hopeful viewers: 2005's The Protector, in pushing away from Ong-Bak's human-scale marvels (recall the sight of Jaa leaping through a tiny barbed-wire hoop or between sheets of plate glass) and toward generically huge set pieces, made Jaa just another chop-socky player — and one who, unlike Chan, still hadn't found a way to charm the viewer.

That diagnosis goes double for The Protector 2, which finds Jaa and Pinkaew embracing the wire-work and CG whose absence made Ong-Bak so refreshing. The dumb, overbusy picture is unlikely to reach as many U.S. viewers as its predecessor did, and suggests that Jaa, far from finding his voice during his brief retirement from the screen, is content to do whatever producers think will sell.

Reprising his role as Kham, the rural kid raised to protect a prized elephant (Khon) as if it were his human brother, Jaa is quickly confronted with big-city evil: Khon is stolen from the village, soon to be employed in a bizarre plot to derail peace talks between warring factions somewhere in Southeast Asia. While pursuing the kidnappers, Kham is framed for the murder of a poacher, whose nieces — trained fighters who specialize in on-the-fly acupuncture — swear to get revenge. (One of the young women is JeeJa Yanin, who starred in Pinkaew's 2008 Chocolate but is underused here.)

Meanwhile, Khon is held by LC (RZA), the ringleader of a cadre of fighters whose skill-level rankings are branded into their flesh. (No need for a full roster: Number 2, played by American martial artist Marrese Crump, is the sole tough worth watching.) Proving how badly he needs good direction in order to be as compelling onscreen as he is on records, RZA makes LC the kind of villain who chews a diamond-studded toothpick and expresses his approval by slowly applauding, "B. [clap] R. [clap] A. [clap] V. [clap] O."

LC hopes not only to use the elephant to blow up some politicians, but to force Kham to assassinate an enemy or two along the way. In his efforts to foil LC's plan, Khon gets help from Mark (Petchtai Wongkamlao), the city cop who played sidekick in the last film. The picture's sole moment of wit comes when Mark hears what's going on: "You've lost your elephant again? Are you sure it's an elephant and not a kitten?"

Action sequences include a massive motorcycle chase neutered by cheesy wire work, fake parkour, and a climax in which poor Khon's tusks are used as props in a mindbogglingly stupid way. Rare instances of actual hand-to-hand fighting suffer from Pinkaew's direction: slo-mo footage and ineffective music drain them of energy, and POV shots in which a fist or foot comes straight at the camera don't cut away quickly enough to create the illusion we're actually being hit. Instead we see the foot stop inches away from the camera — moments of ass-kickus interruptus that sum the deflating movie up fairly well.